Hey fellow spam monkeys SEOs, we all know how you like to game ranking systems. Well there’s a new kid on the block just BEGGING to be gamed:
The SEOmoz comment voting system.
Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, please understand. I love spamming everything I see the SEOmoz community. I would never do anything outside the boundaries set forth by the dopest of all SEO communities. Except spam the hell out of them…and by spam the hell out of them, I mean reading lots of posts and comments, thinking about my responses, and posting intelligent or funny (and usually completely relevant) comments as often as I can.
I shall coin my witty banter and super intelligent commenting as “ThumbBait.” I plan on proving that this technique works by being pretty much awesome pretty much all the time. Currently as I post this, I am #28 on the most awesome list of mozzers with 79 thumbs. I want to be a top 10 bad ass mozzer, and to do so I need your help. And I need to be awesome.
Here’s the deal friends: if you want me to “up yours,” be awesome. It’s that easy. If you thumb me now, I am going to crawl up that list of awesome mozzers, and the power I wield will be unstoppable. Then I might thumb your comments too, which will increase your awesome. Reciprocal thumbing still works in the infant stages of the SEOmoz comment voting algo.
I have also created a little dandy list of ways NOT TO BE AWESOME on SEOmoz for those who have not quite figured out the formula (which is basically be exactly like me all the time):
- Post lots of links to your site- who cares if they are nofollow.
- Troll- yell at people and insult them as often as you can.
- Be Michael Martinez- OK that was totally uncalled for, I think I just committed non-awesome rule #2.
- Respond to a post on a different thread- dude, it takes EFFORT to be that dumb.
- Know more than me about being awesome- doesn’t happen often, but when it does it makes me angry.
- Never pass any comment love- you greedy bastard. This isn’t PageRank in 2001, and your comment voting love will not leak out of your profile.
- Only thumbs down comments- complainers are lamers.
- Target individuals to thumb them down all the time- boo. That’s all I can say about that.
Ok friends, now you know what you need to do, and what to avoid. Go get your thumb love on, and post some YOUmoz. Make some happy and increase the overall intelligence and entertainment factor of your favorite community by voting for stuff that is awesome and writing stuff that is totally super. Which is basically everything I will ever post for the eternity of the internet.
