I thought I’d hop on the “Top 10” bandwagon and give you my very own Top 10 list. Having researched some keywords for one of our clients for the past three days, I find myself constantly feeling the urge to take mental breaks for fear of being driven insane by monotonous data entry; thus, I present my Ten Ways to Take a Break from Tedious SEO Work:
- Peer over your company’s web developer’s shoulder until he sees you out of the corner of his eye and gets the crap scared out of him. This is a surefire way to get your profile photo changed to Jabba the Hut.
- Sing loudly and off-key to whatever you’re listening to on your headphones, then seem confused when you come in the next day to find that your headphones have mysteriously vanished. I recommend such gems as “We Built This City” or “I’m Too Sexy” for maximum annoyance.
- Take a coffee break. Since I don’t drink coffee, I take a smoothie break. This involves me walking to get a smoothie, walking back with the smoothie, drinking the smoothie, waiting ten minutes, and then loudly proclaiming, “Wooooo! I feel heavy from all that delicious smoothie! Better walk off those extra calories!” I then disappear for another twenty minutes.
- Stare at one of your coworkers with a leery grin on your face while he or she is working and mutter things like, “Yeah, that’s right…keep typing…ooh…” When he or she looks up and notices you gawking, go “Ahhh!!!” and quickly look at your monitor and start typing furiously.
- See how many times you can visit the bathroom within a short amount of time before your coworkers start thinking you may be incontinent. I counted 12 times in ten minutes. Beat that!
- Wait until your boss is on a conference call, then eat saltine crackers right over his head.
- Make up songs about SEO and excitedly share them with your coworkers until they’ve moved you into your own office. Think along the lines of “I Love SEO! Love to optimize and rank sites, baby!” to the tune of Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock and Roll.”
- Schedule embarrassing doctor’s appointments while sitting at your desk. Try to describe your ailment using an unnecessary amount of detail. Rashes and weird lumps are a plus.
- Make a nifty collage using your clients’ contracts, and then proudly and excitedly show it to your boss as his ears start shooting steam.
- Construct a Top 10 list!
Now that I think about it, this list should be re-titled “Ten Ways to Get Fired.” Oh crap…well, at least it allowed me to take a bit of a break…
